I know this seems like common sense, but parents: DON’T WRITE YOUR KIDS’ ESSAYS! Every year, I sit parents down and tell them that they need to let their kids write their own personal statements and college application essays.  As they sit across the table from me they nod in agreement and smile as if they have never “helped” their children on essays or homework before. And, every year, there are a handful of parents who can’t help themselves and actually write their children’s essays for them. Oy  Vey!

Parents: College admissions officers immediately see when parents write their kids’ essays. Your perspective on life come from decades of bumps and bruises and experiences that a 17-year old simply cannot have. Teens don’t have adult foresight and vision.  Sure some teens write really well but they don’t have mature wisdom that marriage, careers, and 40 years of life gives you. Writing their essays actually hurts their chances of getting into top colleges!

Besides, what kind of message are you sending to your child when you write their essays?  Do you want them to think that you don’t believe they can do this on their own?  What happens when they get to college with other students who actually have the writing skills needed to be successful? NOT GOOD. If you’re that concerned about their writing skills, spend the time to teach them how to improve their writing or hire a tutor to help them. That way, they’ll learn grammar and writing mechanics so they’ll be prepared to enter college with their peers. 

Now that our kids’ summer vacations are coming to a close, we need to start gearing them up to get back into the school mindset.  NOT AN EASY TASK! In the past, I have found that the best way to get kids excited to go back to school is to take them shopping for new clothes. Okay, this may sound like bribery but it works!

After spending the summer in shorts and t-shirts, or summer dresses and flip flops, you’re going to need to stock their closets and dressers with fall and even winter clothes.  You’ll need to buy jackets and boots, and oh yes, a big umbrella!  Even in California, we’re expecting a really wet “El Nino” winter. But, before you head to the mall where you’ll be paying top dollar for their new wardrobes, change it up a little this year and do this the smart way.

First, ask your kids to make a list of what they already have. They’ll be surprised by what they already have, which will save you big bucks at the checkout stands. In order for this system to work, they need to be specific.  List how many long pants, shorts, skirts, shirts/blouses, underwear, sweaters/sweatshirts, jackets/coats, sandals, shoes, and boots they have. If they’ve changed (lost weight, gained weight, grown a couple inches) but still like some of their clothes, you can have a tailor do alterations for a fraction of the cost of buying something new. Or better yet, you could teach them how to do simple alterations themselves.

Next, ask your kids to make a list of what they NEED. All kids will want new clothes so ask them to make a list of what they need. You’ll probably need to check their lists of things they have just to make sure they really do need these items on their lists.  Then, ask them to go online to estimate what it will cost to purchase everything. That’s when you create your budget for each child. Always make the budget less than their total request so that they have to learn how to shop smart to maximize their spending.

By making them find creative ways to get what they need for the new school year, you’re teaching them a valuable lesson. They’ll start searching for sales on similar items and looking at discount stores (Ross, TJ Max or Marshalls) or outlets to get good deals. Depending on their budgets, they can get great deals on jeans at thrift stores. By making them think about their purchases BEFORE they step foot in the stores, they’ll be more apt to buy what they really need and not spend your dollars on whims.

Back when I was a kid, my father told me that if I sewed my clothes, he would buy me unlimited fabric and let me buy all the shoes, purses, and accessories to go with my new wardrobe.  I loved the offer — and probably to his surprise — that summer, I sewed 12 pairs of pants, 15 skirts, and 5 dresses!  So when I went shopping, I bought dozens of blouses to go with my pants and skirts, and every shoe I could fit into! It was a win-win situation, and it taught me how to alter clothes — something I still do today!

Interesting news!

For the first time ever, the University of California system will accept letters of recommendation for selected students applying to UC Berkeley, only.

In an effort to better understand specific applicants, UC Berkeley will email prospective applicants a request for up to 2 letters of recommendation if they want more information about the student. Only students who receive this email request will be allowed to submit online letters of recommendation.

Letters should be written by a teacher or instructor, and anyone who knows the student well.

These one-page letters are optional and will be due on January 1, 2016.  

Feeling guilty about watering my veggie gardens and fruit trees during the worst drought of the century, I created a food forest on my property. This is called PERMACULTURE. It’s really a very simple concept – you plant veggies around your fruit trees so when you water the trees, you’re also watering your veggies! So cool!

This saves about half the amount of water you’d need to grow veggies and fruit trees (separately).

I planted 17 fruit trees about 3 years ago, and created my first food forest with daikon radishes, comfrey and other edibles to boost the nitrogen in the soil and aerate the rock solid terrain.  It worked! I didn’t need to add chemical fertilizers and the food forest kept the weeds at bay.

At first, I tried broadcasting (tossing) 10,000 strawberry seeds around the fruit trees hoping I would have a bumper crop of strawberries, but they didn’t take.  Didn’t get one strawberry plant. ARGH! Then, I figured out the problem: broadcasting seeds everywhere didn’t work because they needed to be under the drip irrigation water lines. DUH!

So, I just planted carrots, beets, onions, turnips and other root veggies by placing the seeds directly under the drip lines.  It’s amazing what happens when seeds are placed under a drip line.  I see sprouts popping up around all of the trees after only a week!

My next project is going to involve multi-level plantings.  I’ll have root veggies and leafy veggies around the fruit trees, and then climbers (string beans and cucumbers) that will climb up the fruit trees — they won’t need fancy or expensive cages!

Using the permaculture technique to grow food forests gives you a harvest of all kinds of veggies without using additional water. And best of all, the edibles grow together so you don’t have to worry about creating neat little rows and weeding every day.

Check out this article to learn more about permaculture!

[Source]

Hey 20-Somethings!

You might want to read this article in the Business Insider. 

It’s not too late for you to rethink how you spend and save money.

Think: budget, credit score, investments, insurance, and yes, retirement!

[Source]

With just a few weeks of summer left, college-bound high school seniors should use this time to start writing personal statements and essays for college applications. Yes indeed, it’s that time of year!

Many colleges have just posted their new prompts for essays, and all colleges should have essay prompts available by Labor Day weekend (another good time to get a head start on essays). 

Here are a few essay prompts that are up right now:

Common Application (519 colleges accept this application):

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea.  What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

University of California (10 colleges accept this application):

1. Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

2. Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Pro Tip: Make sure you have the current essay topics, and not last year’s!

Don’t have time to be your kids’ taxi service? Set up a carpool for this upcoming school year NOW. I did this for both of my girls. By using my Carpool Schedule form, you can organize who will be picking up or dropping off the kids each week.  

This gives you complete control over every aspect of your kids’ transportation schedules. You’ll know when you and other parents will be driving the kids, and you can have as many participants in your carpool as you like.

Have all parents complete an Emergency Form [page 1] [page 2] so every driver will have important information in the case of an emergency. Have the drivers also fill out the Carpool-Driver Information Form to ensure that the driver doesn’t have a long list of moving violations and has auto insurance. This will give you some peace of mind.

It only takes a few hours to organize a good carpool using my forms. Do it now! Be flexible with schedule changes and vacations — they’re inevitable but manageable.

By sharing the driving with other parents, you’ll save money on gas and more importantly, you’ll save precious time! 

Being a product of the 60’s and 70’s, I’ve always considered smoking pot to be a lesser evil than booze, uppers, downers, and heroin. Just my vocabulary will show you how out of date I am on the drug scene.

Last week, a client asked me if I could blog about teens smoking weed, so I interviewed Dr. Sarah Villarreal, a psychologist who specializes in teen disorders in Palo Alto, and my cousin, Dr. Alex Kawana, a physician, to get the latest update on the affects of marijuana on teens.

Quite frankly, I was surprised by what they told me. Dr. Villarreal confirmed that despite conflicting evidence of marijuana being a “gateway drug”  (one that leads to harder drugs), it negatively affects motivation, sleeping, mood and healthy eating.  Dr. Villarreal stated it is a depressant and can at the very least amplify existing depression and/or create depressive symptoms.

Dr. Alex Kawana says that the California Society of Addiction Medicine (CSAM) believes that marijuana should be legalized, whereas the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) believes that it should continue to be illegal. 

CSAM believes that marijuana should be legalized and the revenues generated should go towards the prevention of adolescent marijuana use. Kawana agrees. Adolescents should to be told to wait until age 18 to start smoking marijuana. Data shows that adolescents who are chronic users of marijuana will be chronic users as adults. However, adults who start smoking marijuana rarely become chronic users. According to Health Canada, the marijuana that the flower children smoked at Woodstock in 1969 had 1% tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), but today, street-grade marijuana has at least 10% and up to 30% THC. Wow!  I had no idea.

Here are 4 reasons why teens shouldn’t smoke marijuana.

#1: Physical Health
While marijuana may seem to have a relaxing affect, it actually increases your heart rate by 20 to 50 beats per minute. This causes strain on your organs and forces your heart to work extra hard to keep up.  The smoke from marijuana irritates the lungs causing breathing and lung problems. Regular users can experience daily coughs and a higher risk of lung infections that can result in pneumonia. 

#2: Mental Health
According to a Rhode Island state government report, teens who smoke marijuana double their chances of developing depression and anxiety, and triple the odds of having suicidal thoughts. A Swedish study found that teens who were heavy weed smokers were six times more likely to develop schizophrenia, especially if they have family history of the disorder. 

#3: Academic Success
The National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) found teens who smoked marijuana had an 8-point drop in their IQ, even if they quit smoking in adulthood. Long-term users had lower academic grades and were 60% more likely to drop out of school, have attention and memory problems, suffer from learning difficulties, and be less satisfied with their lives than their non-weed-smoking peers. Duke University found that the earlier and more frequently a teen smoked pot, the greater the loss of intelligence by age 38. Dr. Andra Smith, an associate professor at the University of Ottawa, says,”I don’t really care if you smoke at 35, but don’t do it when you’re 13 because you’re just setting yourself up for failure.” Good advice!

#4: Impaired Driving
According to the NIDA, marijuana is the most common illegal drug involved in auto fatalities, and high school seniors are twice as likely to receive a traffic ticket and 65% more likely to get in an accident than their non-pot-smoking counterparts. Because TLC affects areas of the frontal cortex — the part of your brain that involves decision making, smoking weed can cause you to do things you might not do when you are straight. Marijuana negatively affects your concentration, coordination, and reaction time — making you unsafe behind the wheel!

Teens cope with so many pressures: school, relationships, college and career, and drugs/alcohol. If you’re worried about your teen, get help fast! Once they start smoking pot regularly, it’s difficult to get them to stop.

I refer teens to Dr. Sarah Villarreal of Entelechy Wellness Center in Palo Alto and San Francisco, and to Dr. Richard Gilbert (psychiatrist) in Aptos. 

Dance was my girls’ sport. 

They couldn’t catch a baseball if someone dropped it in their hands (oops!, mitt). But dance was their world from about age six to adulthood. 

It taught them how to move with grace (except during those awkward tween years when they would break toes walking through doorways!), understand music composition, and put it all together through choreography.

Dance was instrumental in building their confidence and appreciation for the arts.

Benjamin Holck (aka Ben Jammin) introduced musical theater to my daughters and all of the students at Merit Academy. They sang and danced to CATS and Magic of Broadway:

Ruth Fisher (Dancenter) provided my girls their first formal dance instruction where they explored jazz, tap, and hip hop, and made great friends:

Jeni Sudbrink Evers (Musical Theater Choreographer) and Suzanne Hobbs (Musical Theater Voice Instructor) brought out their excitement for performance in Magic of Broadway II, It’s Gotta Be Rock ‘n Roll Music, and Best of Rock ‘n Roll Music: 1955-1975:

Athena Harrah Knight (No Limits) launched Nicole’s and Jaclyn’s passion for dance when they joined No Limits’ competition dance teams. They danced with incredible dancers under the direction of amazing choreographers: Athena Harrah Knight (now Aptos Academy of Performing Arts), Tisha Nusbaum (now Pacific Arts Complex), Ali Stapleton Lambrecht (now Coastal Vibe), and the late Carrie McCoid:

Nicole went on to dance with the Stanford Dollies (2004-2005), where she had her best dance experiences to date and made best friends:

And dance training wouldn’t be complete without ballet, and Nicole and Jaclyn received excellent training with Robert Kelley and Diane Cypher at The Studio, School of Classical Ballet.

Jaclyn founded the 5 C Dance Company at Claremont McKenna College where she was the Artistic Director and Choreographer for 4 years. She continues to be best friends with Kelsey Schmidt (Assistant Director) and Lauren James (Sound and Music Director):

Jaclyn taught dance and choreographed numbers for Dance Design‘s competition dancers in Pennsylvania. She also performed solos at the recitals at the end of the year:

Jaclyn danced with Tabitha Robinson-Scott’s Monarch Dance Company in Pennsylvania for 2 years:

Thank you to all of the amazing people who brought dance to my girls’ lives!