I was intrigued when Nathan Decena told me that he visited the Japanese American National Museum (JANM) in Los Angeles to see his great uncle’s photo. [I love it when parents take their children to see important exhibits] My aunt is a docent there and many of my family members contributed towards the building of this museum. Nathan told me that his great uncle was Rudy Tokiwa — the youngest soldier in the 442nd battalion– and the famous photo that Nathan went to see was of Rudy marching German soldiers out of Italy during WWII. While Rudy Tokiwa did capture some German officers on August 31, 1944, that is not him in the photo taken of another event on July 15, 1944. Coincidentally, I met and interviewed Rudy Tokiwa back in 2002 when the JACL put on a re-enactment called “Liberty Lost; Lessons in Loyalty” to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the incarceration of Japanese Americans during WWII. Rudy shared with me stories of his missions, but what struck me most was that while he was fighting with the most decorated battalion in WWII, his family was behind barbed wire for three years until the end of WWII. I was fortunate enough to see this photo at the JANM and I just had to have my photo taken standing in front of Rudy Tokiwa’s famous photograph. If you have the opportunity to visit JANM, go see it because it’s fascinating and a great history museum.

Handling funerals and being “PC” can be unnerving when you’re dealing with cultural, socio-economic, and political concerns.  I’ve been fortunate not to have many funerals to attend, but I have lost close friends and family.  At every funeral, wake, or service I have attended, I’ve wondered why we wait until our loved one passes away before we celebrate their lives.  Breaking long-standing traditions is difficult – and inevitably it ruffles a few feathers – and sometimes I just want to stop the old tradition and start something new. 

When my grandfather Kunio passed away in 1992, I sandblasted his granite marker with the family crest and the image of my favorite marble sculpture that he made in his retirement. My auntie Michi and I worked together to create his program that was filled with photos and a timeline of his fascinating and successful life. I know Grandpa would have loved the creativity and collaboration that went into his gravesite marker and program, and wished he could have seen it all. 

In 1995, my close friend Tom died at age 49, and I put together a 20-minute slideshow of his life that included his family and all of his friends. At his funeral, for the first time ever, all of his friends and family were there and we all mused about how this would have been the best party of his life – but instead, we had the party without him. 

In 2008, all of my cousins, aunts and uncles gathered for 4 days to organize a 79-year history of my Uncle Harry’s fascinating life. Besides the fact that he was the family historian and we probably got many dates and places wrong, he still would have loved to see his life in photos that we collected from all of our albums. The compilation was both interesting (he was one of the engineers that sent the Apollo to the moon!) and heartwarming.  So why do we wait until after loved ones die before celebrating their lives?

I’m thinking about all of this AGAIN, because last weekend, I flew to LA with my entire digital photo library to create a slideshow of my auntie Emi’s life.  She is in perfect health but is beginning to suffer from dementia, and I just didn’t want to sit by passively waiting for her to pass to celebrate her life. So my cousin Jeff and I agreed to look through my digital library of photos of my aunt WITH my aunt. 

After we connected my laptop up to his TV, what happened next was really remarkable. My aunt stood right in front of the big screen TV and told us stories and minute details about each photo for over an hour!  We laughed together and she thoroughly enjoyed this walk down memory lane. She answered questions about who were in the photos and what they were doing. She even helped us place the photos in the correct order of events.  While some might consider this morbid, I connected with her and made her smile while she saw photos of her life.  

I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to share these photos with my aunt while she still is alive and well.  After feeling remorseful after losing loved ones and wishing they could be part of the celebration of their lives at their funerals, I am convinced that this is the way I would like to handle these situations in the future.  I’ve scanned and edited over 100,000 photos and I plan to share them with family and friends while they can appreciate them.  So, if I invite you over for a slideshow, please don’t judge me… Just know that I would rather celebrate your life and share these memories with you while we can still enjoy them.  We can see them again at your funeral but I’ll be happy to remember the time we celebrated your life together.

Sometimes the best way to educate children is through songs – music and lyrics. 

When I took Nicole, my eldest daughter, to her first concert, it was to see Bob Reid.  She had memorized all of his songs on Marz Barz and Abracadab, and I still remember watching her see him in person for the first time. 

His inspirational messages about clean water, healthy food and good manners reached her loud and clear – In ways that books, TV shows, and lectures didn’t. 

Guess what?  Bob Reid is currently booking assemblies and singing workshops in elementary schools.  Talk to your PTA to schedule a concert for your kids’ schools.  The kids will LOVE his music and performance as he gets the audience engaged and connected.  Can’t imagine a better way to get the kids on board for taking care of their future planet.  Seriously, I keep humming his songs and it makes me happy!  

Like his Bob Reid School Assemblies Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/bobreidassemblies to connect. You can buy his CDs for just $15 at http://www.bobreidmusic.com/recording.htm. You can book him for a concert at your kids’ schools for $250-$500 depending on location and number of assemblies. 

I promise you that the kids, teachers, and parents will love him!

I was late to join social media, or so my kids tell me.  I needed help figuring out how to comment on Facebook posts and I certainly messed up a few times thinking I was “messaging” someone when I actually posted personal comments on public timelines. Oh my!  At first, I thought it was the most wonderful way to stay in touch with hundreds of people with just a few simple clicks and the best way to keep me the know with friends, family, and my girls’ friends. But what used to be friendly sharing of photos, ideas, and news has become fierce competition and a serious case of Keeping up with the Joneses.

As a college advisor, I talk with hundreds of teens each week.  A decade ago, I would watch them giggle and smile as they read messages from friends and checked their various social media pages.  This was before social media became a popularity contest.  Now, instead of happy faces, I almost always see serious faces — and even depression — as they view all the exciting things their friends are doing on Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.  What changed? Today, that simple photo is no longer just a snapshot or freeze frame of your life.  Because one of your friends had 150 likes on their photo, just getting 25 on your own is embarrassing by comparison.  They tell me that they don’t like Facebook anymore because they don’t get very many “likes,” and the way they say it shows how vulnerable they feel as a result. 

The bottom line is that they see how their friends are having fun WITHOUT THEM, and the sense of rejection is like a punch in the gut.  Back in the old days – before social media – you weren’t bombarded with hundreds of images of everyone having a better time than you and without you.  You might get wind that you were left out of something days later.  You know – when someone snitched and got pleasure out of telling you something that would break your heart! Remember how that felt? NOT GOOD. Well, just multiply that times 100 and it’s no wonder teens, young adults, and heck, everyone succumbs to depression while being sucked into whatever social media they fancy.

With excellent quality cameras on smartphones today, it’s easy to document everything with a photo or  video. No longer is it an obstacle to lug around big cameras and camcorders.  Have you ever noticed how some tourists focus more on getting photos of themselves in front of signs when they could be having fun instead? It’s almost like it’s more important to capture a photo to show the world where they’ve been to create the illusion of having fun than it is to simply indulge in the activity itself.  So if you’re one of those people who feel unpopular or like your life isn’t as exciting as everyone else’s, remember the photo only tells one side of the story… So put away your camera and go make some meaningful memories, and oh yeah, turn off your phone and computer so you can enjoy the people you’re with! 

As new beekeepers this year, we’ve been immersed in the wonder of the world of bees. 

With our friends John and Julie Monroe, we have taken classes, purchased equipment, painted beautiful designs on our hives, and nurtured our 10,000 bees to over 50,000 in just a few months.  Rob and John would hang out with the bees and watch them for hours. 

Julie even bought John a Go-Pro so he could film the amazing activities he observed.  The last time Rob checked the hives, the hives were almost full of honey! And to think in just a few weeks, we expect to receive our new Flow Hive – Honey on Tap beehives from Australia.  So you could just imagine our disappointment when Rob found that both hives are completely empty.

At first we thought that they swarmed to find more food or a better climate, but I just recently read about how bees sometimes ABSCOND.  Okay, I had to look up this word because I couldn’t make any sense of it.  When bees swarm, they split into smaller colonies but some of the bees usually stay behind. 

In our case, ALL OF THE BEES are gone and they even took all of their honey with them! What gives? 

Do you have any ideas about what went wrong and what we can do to prevent this from happening again?

When Barbara Eastburn told me that she owns over 1000 history books, I knew she was special.  That was the day I hired her to teach Renaissance History at Merit Academy. 

Her love for history and the way she treasures each of her books makes her an exceptional history teacher.  That’s the secret – she’s read these volumes of history books many times and can open them to share specific passages with her students just like you’d be able to do a Google search on the internet. 

However, Barbara claims that many of her books can’t be found on Google so she has even better resources than the internet! She also has a substantial collection of fiction, mystery, science, and gardening libraries. Ever want to see a classic movie?  Just ask Barbara!  She owns every classic movie ever made – and our students have seen many great historical fiction films on the big screen thanks to her!

Good teachers like Barbara Eastburn are rare and we’re glad she’ll always be part of Merit Academy.

Gakkomom Pal Tim Niemier founded Ocean Kayak in 1971, after coming up with the concept of a sit-on-top kayak by taking the idea of a surfboard and carving out an area to sit and an area to store gear.  He’s written a new book called “The Millionaire Beach Bum“, which is about how he turned his ADD into the engine that drove his work and career, and he is now sharing what he’s learned with the world.  The following is an excerpt from his new book:

I grew up knowing I was different and was less able in some areas but focused on the areas where I excelled.  I used those ADDvantages to create the company Ocean Kayak and introduce the sit on top kayak to the world while having the time of my life making millions.  

HUNTERS AND FARMERS According to Thom Hartmann it is the difference between hunters and farmers.  ADDers are in a way the hunters who can’t focus on doing repetitive farmer type work right in front of them, but are always scanning the horizon for something the farmers never notice.  Then, like a (seemingly) lazy cat they spring into action and can go all-out with incredible endurance to get the prize.     I KNEW I WAS DIFFERENT For me I found the academic world to be two-dimensional, where I always thought in 3D like sculpture or shaping kayaks.  I could visualize the end of even my whole kayak business before I even started.  Having the pressure to make decisions quickly meant there was no time to get distracted.  Time for me was something that had to keep slapping me in the face to move quickly and decisively.  Getting a network of people who were good at focusing to surround me in the business and managing to keep them paid made the team unstoppable.  I sold my Ocean Kayak company but still have the goal of putting a billion butts in boats or boards (like SUP’s).     THE EDISON GENE  Thom Hartmann presents a case that since we know this personality type is genetic there must be a gene responsible.  Thom calls it the “Edison Gene” after Thomas Edison.  Now with genetic research that gene seems to be located and may have appeared about 40,000 years ago.  At that time the climate was changing rapidly and dramatically and the humans that were willing to get up and go somewhere new survived while those that didn’t move didn’t survive.  My family has had major moves at least 5 times in 6 generations.     WHAT DO I DO WITH MY KIDS? What to do for you or your kids?  Should you put them on meds?  Can you survive?  I do innovation coaching and speaking for companies, schools and individuals.  I have mentored many kids like myself to help them find their special 3D strengths and teach them how to deal with a two-dimensional world.  

My glucose numbers have been well within “normal” and my docs have told me that I’m the ideal patient.  So what happened to me while in Las Vegas is what my nutritionist, Shoshanah Orzech, calls the perfect storm.  I’ve been really good about sticking to my paleo diet.  Shoshanah says that I’ve fine tuned my body so it runs like a Ferrari (not to be confused with looking like one!). No gluten, no grains, no dairy, no sugar and no legumes. And 29 hours in Vegas almost ruined everything!

As you know, getting to the airport was a harrowing experience, so when I arrived, I bought a bowl of delicious and comforting pea soup.  Unfortunately, I completely forgot that peas are legumes – Oops! – and I inhaled the soup quickly as I boarded my flight. [Diabetic Demerit: 1]

After my presentation, I was super thirsty, so I gulped the only non-alcoholic drink I could find…which was (unfortunately) sugary lemonade. [Diabetic Demerit: 1]

Then, starving and wanting to treat myself after my presentation, I ordered a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich and FRIES.  I was already full after just a few bites but I went ahead and ate the ENTIRE MEAL.  [Diabetic Demerit: 5, and the Ferrari is on fire.]

When I woke up the next morning, my sternum throbbed and I was sure I was having a heart attack.  I texted my daughter Nicole, an ER doctor, and asked her what I should do.  As always, she suggested that I go to the Emergency Room, but I thought otherwise… I had 25 meetings lined up with international agents from 9:00 am until 5:30 pm – I couldn’t miss those!  When I arrived at the conference, I wanted an egg but all they had were yummy baked goods.  So I ate a muffin and had a cup of coffee – something I never eat or drink.  [Diabetic Demerit: 1]

I was thrilled by the interest in Merit Academy and didn’t notice my discomfort.  During lunch, I was proud of myself for not eating the white bread and croissants and just ate the delicious tri-tip.  I even ate a salad! [Diabetic Demerit: -1, and a gold star!]

However, I couldn’t stand idly by and let my colleagues eat all of the gourmet desserts, so I caved in. I’m not even sure what those tasty, creamy delights were, but I’m sure they were pure white sugar and white flour.  [Diabetic Demerit: 3]

I met such interesting people from all around the world.  The time zipped by and when my last meeting ended, I realized that I had just 10 minutes to check out of my room and catch the shuttle (yup, the same company that had an accident on the way to the hotel the day before).  That’s when my body started talking to me REALLY LOUDLY.

The ache in my sternum dropped to my abdomen, but I was still worried that I might be having a heart attack.  In my delirious state of mind, I started thinking about how to find the UNLV Medical School and weighing the odds of me making it to Stanford’s ER (where many of Nicole’s classmates work).  The pain was excruciating (for my level of excruciating, anyway – I can’t type with a paper cut, and there was also this time when I wouldn’t allow an ER doc to remove my bandage for 3 hours).  So, I took 4 baby aspirin because I thought that that was a smart thing to do and then I downed some Tums.  No improvement. [NOT A DOCTOR Demerit: 12]

When I finally landed in San Jose, I decided that I had indigestion (Did you know that I am a doctor? Seriously, doctors keep saying that to me). I decided not to go to Stanford and instead I drove home while gobbling even more Tums. I never knew that indigestion could be so painful. After checking online to see what home remedies could help deal with the acid trapped in my gut, I gulped a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar – yum! Actually, that was the worst tasting thing ever, but surprisingly, it gave me quick relief.

The next morning, I met with Shoshanah to see what caused this unbelievably painful and scary scenario.  I needed another plan.  We reviewed my food diary and she told me that I need a travel kit to help me when I am out of my element.  She’s right, I will have my apple cider vinegar, nut balls, and a test kit so I can ward off future episodes of indigestion caused by eating ALL OF THE WRONG THINGS in a 24-hour period.  But better yet, maybe I just won’t even go crazy like that again…

You’ve probably been watching your “high-achiever” students scrambling to get in their Early Action and Early Decision applications and thinking you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with all of that stress.  Well, it’s your turn if you’re applying to the California public universities only. 

Start NOW so you don’t become one of the 100,000 students racing to finish their essays and submitting the UC applications over Thanksgiving break.  Besides, wouldn’t it be nice to actually have time to enjoy that turkey and stuffing? 

Every year, I have kids (and their parents) calling me at 5 minutes before midnight on Nov 30^th with questions and problems about the application.  The UC applications website https://admissions.universityofcalifornia.edu is now open and accepting online applications.  The deadline is an absolute NOV 30^th!

Here are some tips on completing them without stress:

1. Open the application and fill in all of the personal, family and course information.
2. Get your unofficial transcript to fill in course titles and grades (A mistake here can cost you admission to the college! Not worth the risk!)
3. Ask your parents about their job titles, occupations, and college degrees. (You should know this but even my kids didn’t know how to fill this in…)
4. List your activities and awards (up to 5 in each category) and include descriptive explanations for your awards, extra courses, etc.  You’ll have just 150 characters and abbreviations are fine here.  So put your best foot forward and see what you can write in 150 characters!
5. Start working on your 2 personal statements.  Both essays together need to be less than 1000 words and no fewer than 250 words for either of them.  Here are the prompts:

• Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
• Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Make sure your personal statements answer the specific prompts.  Tell a story to demonstrate your skills, talents, and passion. Ask someone to edit this for you but don’t let them write it or over polish it for you.  It needs to be your voice – not a 50-something’s vision! Admissions officers can tell when parents or others write your essays, so don’t let them! These are difficult to write so start early.

Don’t send your transcripts unless the admissions office requests them. Send your SAT or ACT scores by the end of Dec.  You can still take a Dec test and have them sent directly to the UC admissions office.

Don’t send resumes, letters of recommendation, brochures, artwork, or anything to the admissions offices unless you are specifically asked to do so. 

Definitely don’t send cookies..this will not help your application, and may even hurt it.

Submit this application online before Nov 30^th to avoid system crashes and slow processing time. You’ll need a credit card to pay for the application fee for each UC you apply to.

Hope this helps!  Lay out each step and block off time to complete each task.  You’ll very quickly see why you need to get started now.  Good luck!

I’ve always enjoyed Halloween because it isn’t a religious or political holiday – it’s just a WEIRD HOLIDAY and you get to dress up, do gross things, and have lots of fun. 

Back in 1990, I took a month off from work to plan the biggest Halloween party for my girls. We turned our 3-car garage into a 75-foot walk-through maze. 

I made signs for the driveway with my router, stuffed monsters for the maze, and made “feely cans” with disgusting body parts (grapes, manicotti, hard boiled eggs).  The girls made ghosts and fluorescent bats.  Ben Jammin’ made the most intricate spiderweb that spanned 8 feet and placed giant 2-foot spiders on it. 

Jaclyn (18 months old at the time) couldn’t understand why her “baby” (doll) was up on the spiderweb.  Nicole and her friends unwrapped hundreds of caramel squares for our caramel apples.  Great memories!  Two years later, the Santa Cruz Sentinel called us “Soquel’s Answer to the Addam’s Family!” on a cover story. 

And that was just the beginning…