We’ve Changed How We Keep Up With the Joneses

I was late to join social media, or so my kids tell me.  I needed help figuring out how to comment on Facebook posts and I certainly messed up a few times thinking I was “messaging” someone when I actually posted personal comments on public timelines. Oh my!  At first, I thought it was the most wonderful way to stay in touch with hundreds of people with just a few simple clicks and the best way to keep me the know with friends, family, and my girls’ friends. But what used to be friendly sharing of photos, ideas, and news has become fierce competition and a serious case of Keeping up with the Joneses.

As a college advisor, I talk with hundreds of teens each week.  A decade ago, I would watch them giggle and smile as they read messages from friends and checked their various social media pages.  This was before social media became a popularity contest.  Now, instead of happy faces, I almost always see serious faces — and even depression — as they view all the exciting things their friends are doing on Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.  What changed? Today, that simple photo is no longer just a snapshot or freeze frame of your life.  Because one of your friends had 150 likes on their photo, just getting 25 on your own is embarrassing by comparison.  They tell me that they don’t like Facebook anymore because they don’t get very many “likes,” and the way they say it shows how vulnerable they feel as a result. 

The bottom line is that they see how their friends are having fun WITHOUT THEM, and the sense of rejection is like a punch in the gut.  Back in the old days – before social media – you weren’t bombarded with hundreds of images of everyone having a better time than you and without you.  You might get wind that you were left out of something days later.  You know – when someone snitched and got pleasure out of telling you something that would break your heart! Remember how that felt? NOT GOOD. Well, just multiply that times 100 and it’s no wonder teens, young adults, and heck, everyone succumbs to depression while being sucked into whatever social media they fancy.

With excellent quality cameras on smartphones today, it’s easy to document everything with a photo or  video. No longer is it an obstacle to lug around big cameras and camcorders.  Have you ever noticed how some tourists focus more on getting photos of themselves in front of signs when they could be having fun instead? It’s almost like it’s more important to capture a photo to show the world where they’ve been to create the illusion of having fun than it is to simply indulge in the activity itself.  So if you’re one of those people who feel unpopular or like your life isn’t as exciting as everyone else’s, remember the photo only tells one side of the story… So put away your camera and go make some meaningful memories, and oh yeah, turn off your phone and computer so you can enjoy the people you’re with!