Don’t have time to be your kids’ taxi service? Set up a carpool for this upcoming school year NOW. I did this for both of my girls. By using my Carpool Schedule form, you can organize who will be picking up or dropping off the kids each week.  

This gives you complete control over every aspect of your kids’ transportation schedules. You’ll know when you and other parents will be driving the kids, and you can have as many participants in your carpool as you like.

Have all parents complete an Emergency Form [page 1] [page 2] so every driver will have important information in the case of an emergency. Have the drivers also fill out the Carpool-Driver Information Form to ensure that the driver doesn’t have a long list of moving violations and has auto insurance. This will give you some peace of mind.

It only takes a few hours to organize a good carpool using my forms. Do it now! Be flexible with schedule changes and vacations — they’re inevitable but manageable.

By sharing the driving with other parents, you’ll save money on gas and more importantly, you’ll save precious time! 

Being a product of the 60’s and 70’s, I’ve always considered smoking pot to be a lesser evil than booze, uppers, downers, and heroin. Just my vocabulary will show you how out of date I am on the drug scene.

Last week, a client asked me if I could blog about teens smoking weed, so I interviewed Dr. Sarah Villarreal, a psychologist who specializes in teen disorders in Palo Alto, and my cousin, Dr. Alex Kawana, a physician, to get the latest update on the affects of marijuana on teens.

Quite frankly, I was surprised by what they told me. Dr. Villarreal confirmed that despite conflicting evidence of marijuana being a “gateway drug”  (one that leads to harder drugs), it negatively affects motivation, sleeping, mood and healthy eating.  Dr. Villarreal stated it is a depressant and can at the very least amplify existing depression and/or create depressive symptoms.

Dr. Alex Kawana says that the California Society of Addiction Medicine (CSAM) believes that marijuana should be legalized, whereas the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) believes that it should continue to be illegal. 

CSAM believes that marijuana should be legalized and the revenues generated should go towards the prevention of adolescent marijuana use. Kawana agrees. Adolescents should to be told to wait until age 18 to start smoking marijuana. Data shows that adolescents who are chronic users of marijuana will be chronic users as adults. However, adults who start smoking marijuana rarely become chronic users. According to Health Canada, the marijuana that the flower children smoked at Woodstock in 1969 had 1% tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), but today, street-grade marijuana has at least 10% and up to 30% THC. Wow!  I had no idea.

Here are 4 reasons why teens shouldn’t smoke marijuana.

#1: Physical Health
While marijuana may seem to have a relaxing affect, it actually increases your heart rate by 20 to 50 beats per minute. This causes strain on your organs and forces your heart to work extra hard to keep up.  The smoke from marijuana irritates the lungs causing breathing and lung problems. Regular users can experience daily coughs and a higher risk of lung infections that can result in pneumonia. 

#2: Mental Health
According to a Rhode Island state government report, teens who smoke marijuana double their chances of developing depression and anxiety, and triple the odds of having suicidal thoughts. A Swedish study found that teens who were heavy weed smokers were six times more likely to develop schizophrenia, especially if they have family history of the disorder. 

#3: Academic Success
The National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) found teens who smoked marijuana had an 8-point drop in their IQ, even if they quit smoking in adulthood. Long-term users had lower academic grades and were 60% more likely to drop out of school, have attention and memory problems, suffer from learning difficulties, and be less satisfied with their lives than their non-weed-smoking peers. Duke University found that the earlier and more frequently a teen smoked pot, the greater the loss of intelligence by age 38. Dr. Andra Smith, an associate professor at the University of Ottawa, says,”I don’t really care if you smoke at 35, but don’t do it when you’re 13 because you’re just setting yourself up for failure.” Good advice!

#4: Impaired Driving
According to the NIDA, marijuana is the most common illegal drug involved in auto fatalities, and high school seniors are twice as likely to receive a traffic ticket and 65% more likely to get in an accident than their non-pot-smoking counterparts. Because TLC affects areas of the frontal cortex — the part of your brain that involves decision making, smoking weed can cause you to do things you might not do when you are straight. Marijuana negatively affects your concentration, coordination, and reaction time — making you unsafe behind the wheel!

Teens cope with so many pressures: school, relationships, college and career, and drugs/alcohol. If you’re worried about your teen, get help fast! Once they start smoking pot regularly, it’s difficult to get them to stop.

I refer teens to Dr. Sarah Villarreal of Entelechy Wellness Center in Palo Alto and San Francisco, and to Dr. Richard Gilbert (psychiatrist) in Aptos. 

Dance was my girls’ sport. 

They couldn’t catch a baseball if someone dropped it in their hands (oops!, mitt). But dance was their world from about age six to adulthood. 

It taught them how to move with grace (except during those awkward tween years when they would break toes walking through doorways!), understand music composition, and put it all together through choreography.

Dance was instrumental in building their confidence and appreciation for the arts.

Benjamin Holck (aka Ben Jammin) introduced musical theater to my daughters and all of the students at Merit Academy. They sang and danced to CATS and Magic of Broadway:

Ruth Fisher (Dancenter) provided my girls their first formal dance instruction where they explored jazz, tap, and hip hop, and made great friends:

Jeni Sudbrink Evers (Musical Theater Choreographer) and Suzanne Hobbs (Musical Theater Voice Instructor) brought out their excitement for performance in Magic of Broadway II, It’s Gotta Be Rock ‘n Roll Music, and Best of Rock ‘n Roll Music: 1955-1975:

Athena Harrah Knight (No Limits) launched Nicole’s and Jaclyn’s passion for dance when they joined No Limits’ competition dance teams. They danced with incredible dancers under the direction of amazing choreographers: Athena Harrah Knight (now Aptos Academy of Performing Arts), Tisha Nusbaum (now Pacific Arts Complex), Ali Stapleton Lambrecht (now Coastal Vibe), and the late Carrie McCoid:

Nicole went on to dance with the Stanford Dollies (2004-2005), where she had her best dance experiences to date and made best friends:

And dance training wouldn’t be complete without ballet, and Nicole and Jaclyn received excellent training with Robert Kelley and Diane Cypher at The Studio, School of Classical Ballet.

Jaclyn founded the 5 C Dance Company at Claremont McKenna College where she was the Artistic Director and Choreographer for 4 years. She continues to be best friends with Kelsey Schmidt (Assistant Director) and Lauren James (Sound and Music Director):

Jaclyn taught dance and choreographed numbers for Dance Design‘s competition dancers in Pennsylvania. She also performed solos at the recitals at the end of the year:

Jaclyn danced with Tabitha Robinson-Scott’s Monarch Dance Company in Pennsylvania for 2 years:

Thank you to all of the amazing people who brought dance to my girls’ lives!

Forbes recently published an article “5 Money Moves that Build a Retirement” that lays out easy — and painless — ways to start saving for your retirement. 

Now that we’re all planning on living productive lives FOREVER… we need to find ways to finance it!

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I’m always surprised that the beauty of a college is often the number one factor that dazzles my high school students (and their parents) in the search for colleges. I’m dumbfounded every year.

Even with a tight economy and parents sweating bullets over how they’re going to pay for their children’s college educations, they still get wow’d by college architecture, landscaping, and location. Even when I send them off with a list of things to do, questions to ask, and classes to observe, they still choose their favorite colleges based on superficial aspects. 

I’ve noticed oodles of articles about beautiful colleges, and Best Value Schools even has one that boasts “30 Most Beautiful Coastal College Campuses.” While I wouldn’t want my kids going to an ugly college in a dangerous neighborhood, I would still be more interested in the quality of the specific academic departments that my child was interested in and the opportunities offered to them in those programs. Here are some handy tips on how to pick a good college.

When parents spend between $80,000-$225,000 for a bachelor’s degree, I would think they would be checking out their ROI (return on investment). A beautiful campus is really just a sales pitch to lure students (and their parents), to believe that writing those hefty tuition checks is worth it. After all, ya gotta make sure that young Jason has an ocean view room (UC Santa Barbara and Pepperdine University). And we wouldn’t want Jessica to be running laps without a cool ocean breeze, would we? Too much heat is dangerous for snowflakes!

So yeah, I’m CONTINUALLY baffled by parents who judge colleges based more on their physical beauty and less on the professors, departments, and opportunities offered. To continue the book analogy, they’re judging the cover, not the content. To use another analogy, would you buy a car that looked great on the outside, but didn’t have an engine? If your college can’t get you where you want to be, that’s exactly what you’re doing. A lime green Ford Pinto with one orange door won’t look great, but it’ll probably get you where you want to go.

Instead of focusing on the surface layer, I’d dig deep and look at the school’s stats: how many students get jobs in their fields immediately after graduation? Do recruiters (in their chosen majors) actively hire students from this college? What courses can students take in order to obtain a degree and to satisfy graduation requirements?. You might be surprised by the difference between what students actually learn and experience for the same major/degree at different colleges. That’s why many college grads don’t feel equipped to start working in their fields after graduation, and employers prefer applicants with a few years experience under their belts. 

So when looking at colleges with your kids this summer, don’t become enamored by million dollar landscape facelifts (Johns Hopkins did a one-million dollar makeover thanks to a generous alum) and delicious food (Washington University serves steak and lobster), but instead check out their academic departments and make decisions based on the opportunities your child will graduate with. 

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Can’t believe it’s already mid-July! I love the long days when it’s still sunny out after work and I have time to ride my bike along the beach before sunset. 

With just a few weeks left before kids head back to school and autumn arrives, jot down some ideas for your Summer Bucket List! 

Whether it’s for yourself or for the whole family, write them down, put them on your calendar, and start making arrangements NOW.

Here are some ideas:

For YOU:

1. Road Trip — get away from stress and every-day hassles by heading out of town and relaxing at a resort or nice hotel with amenities to revitalize you!

2.  Day Spa — get pampered from head to toe — full-body massage and facial!

3.  Make Over — learn how to take care of your skin and create a new look with makeup!

4.  New Wardrobe — buy a new outfit, and if you can afford it, a new wardrobe!

YOU DESERVE THIS!

For the FAMILY:

1.  Movie Marathon — select 3 or 4 new movies and spend the day/night going to see all of them!

2.  TV Marathon — watch an entire season in one weekend. Turn off the cell phones, make the popcorn, and indulge yourselves!

3.  Beach/Lake Day — grab bathing suits and sunscreen, then head to the water!

4.  Amusement Park — head out to your favorite amusement park to load up on the adrenaline rush, junk food, and people watching!

5.  Party Time — invite all of the friends and family you were hoping to see during the summer (but just never got around to it)!

Put this on your calendar and make the calls! You’ll be glad you did once fall arrives and the days get shorter. 

I wish I had a green thumb. My grandmother could grow anything just about anywhere. She would till the soil and build elaborate cages for her veggies. But sadly, I didn’t inherit her genes. I have started plants from seeds and cuttings, and I’ve purchased exotic flowering plants, only to watch them inevitably wither away and die. My mother suggested that I grow philodendrons because, well, anybody can grow them, even me!

That’s why my house and offices are stuffed with philodendrons. I’ve taken clippings from them and started literally dozens of plants — and they survived, and even thrived. They just keep growing and growing until I run out of places to wrap their long vines. One day as I looked at them collecting cobwebs and dust as they clustered on the floor, I took one vine and wrapped it over the beam in my kitchen.

Then I made simple pot holders out of twine and hung them from the beam (if you don’t have open beams, you could use wood or metal poles too) to get the pots off of the banister.

With each of the philodendrons, I looped the vines over the beam and found that it created a beautiful divider between my kitchen and my living room. They grew so quickly that I kept wrapping them around the beam until it filled in with gorgeous leaves. It was quick and simple! And, I like the way the light filters through this living wall.  

We don’t need microbeads! 

Use natural products — they work better and you can use less, saving you money!

Watch this short video to learn more about them:

Be careful what you call your child; they may become exactly what you are calling them.

There’s a fine line between describing your children’s negative actions and calling them names. “You’re can’t do anything right!” or “You’re a loser!” OUCH! But did you know that labeling your child as a problem actually increases the chances that he or she will grow up to be the very essence of that problem? A new UCLA study found that girls who were called fat by family, friends, classmates or teachers before age 10 (who does that?) are almost twice as likely to become obese by age 19.

According to one of the study’s co-authors, Jeffrey Hunger, “the negative association may have caused the girls to anticipate the effects of weight stigma. Then, they began to unconsciously exhibit behaviors that would lead them to experience those effects.” Hello…ring ring clue phone, it’s for you, thoughtless adults…

Children define themselves based on comments they hear from their family and friends, but they don’t yet have the wherewithal to defend themselves against mental and emotional abuse. They wholeheartedly believe criticisms that they hear like “You’re going to forget it, like always,” “You’re just a loser,” or “You’re so fat!” And, they become exactly what their parents warned them about in the first place. This self-fulfilling prophecy is clearly unhealthy.

Luckily, kids eventually learn how to fight back. In spite of all of the negative abuse they have endured, they pride themselves on reversing the trend. They rise above the stigma. But sadly, those negative comments often come back to haunt them later in life.

Neurolinguistic programmers (NLP) have effective means of permanently ridding one’s self-doubt and criticism by changing the structure of the message in the unconscious mind. This probably sounds like smoke and mirror magic, but many effective therapists use NLP to rebuild stronger self images. 

The bottom line: DON’T CALL YOUR CHILDREN NAMES and DON’T LABEL THEM WITH NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS.  This makes perfect sense. Instead, ask them how they feel about the situation or tell them how you feel as a result of something they did. Say, “I’m, sure you didn’t intentionally mean to hurt Kaden. Tell me what happened?” Or, “It made me angry when you left the house without doing your chores.” This way, they aren’t blamed as the permanent problem and they can easily choose to change their behavior in the future.

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